Lord knows I have been having a really tough time lately. (Un)Fortunately for me, I have become an amazing illusionist with my emotions. But sometimes you just need to know someone sees you, not just knows you exist, but someone who cares if YOU are doing alright. I have some of those people in my life lately that help me stand when I cannot on my own. Yet sometimes the darkness over takes me and I cannot crawl out. Do you know who can always find you in your darkest times?? God. God's light can not be stifled. It can not be hidden. The reason you can't see the light sometimes is because you have your eyes closed too tightly! All I want to do is complain about how life sucks and how it is unfair but I can't... We are still blessed beyond what we could ever dream and God is still on his throne. He is still God and he is STILL GOOD.
I had a conversation recently with a friend who mentioned how she hates the word DESERVE. If you think about it...that is a terrible word. Because the truth is we don't deserve to have anything that we have now. We don't deserve new clothes, we don't deserve to be loved but He does anyway... It goes the same for the opposite way...I always catch myself saying I don't deserve to have a horrible day or I don't deserve for this bad thing to happen to me. Well NEWS FLASH! I don't deserve a God that loves me unconditionally. Who walks by me even if I piss him off or do something I have told him I wasn't going to do again. There is a song that I keep coming back to no matter how much I want to complain and blame God. It is called, "Broken Hallelujah" by Mandisa.
Broken Hallelujah
With my love and my sadness
I come before You Lord
My heart’s in a thousand pieces
Maybe even more
Yet I trust in this moment
You’re with me somehow
And You’ve always been faithful
So Lord even now
When all that I can sing
Is a broken hallelujah
When my only offering
Is shattered praise
Still a song of adoration
Will rise up from these ruins
I will worship You and give You thanks
Even when my only praise
Is a broken hallelujah
Oh Father, You have given
Much more than I deserve
And I have felt Your hand of blessing
On me at every turn
How could I doubt Your goodness
Your wisdom, Your grace
So Lord hear my heart
In this painful place
Hallelujah
I lift my voice
Your Spirit moves
I raise my hands
I reach for You
The words speak to the fire in my heart and keep it burning...It is the only way I can survive...It is the only way WE can survive.
So here is to the fire in all of our hearts out there. Keep them burning so you can be a light in someone else's life.
Love you, Sarah Beth. And thank you for these lyrics again. I needed them today. xoxo
ReplyDeleteWe love you, Sarah. Beautiful writing and beautiful reminder. Carry it deep in your heart, friend. I know it's painful, but remember our hope. xoxo
ReplyDeletethank you for the very real/raw words. you write beautifully and paint a picture with your words. thanks for sharing your precious heart!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post! I love knowing that I will never be alone in any struggle, and I don't have to face this world alone! It's not always easy to see the light, but we have to understand that there IS light! :)
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