Monday, October 17, 2011

Venting

Recently I was talking with some friends about how I always attract the people who tell me their life stories when I am out in public. Or the people who tell me the most random intimate things about themselves and ask me for advice or just to listen. 
I am not going to say that I hate that this happens. I love helping people when I can. Something is hardwired in me to want to fix things that are broken and I believe God calls us to serve others. But it can be draining especially when my brain is telling me that there are more important things than me and I should do something to help. 
Tonight I am reminded of how little energy I have left...I just want to take a second to breathe and vent. I want people to ask about how my day went? Or just acknowledge that I may want to talk about something in my life... I need accountability. I need someone that really cares about me and who I am and MY stupid, nonsense, stressful things in my life, even if they in no way can relate to them. One of my best friends said this quote to me recently and checks and makes sure that I am say it to myself. 

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

I need to do better and start thinking more highly of myself...I have never been good at it.

I do have a couple of friends that write me randomly and I cannot express how appreciative I am to have them. And I don't want or expect this post to change anything about people using me to help them because that is who I am. I just needed to say it. Overall, I am richly blessed beyond what I could ever imagine or deserve.
Tonight is just...a weak night.

"Rest but never quit. Even the sun has a sinking spell each evening. But it always rises the next morning. At sunrise, every soul is born again."  ~Unknown Author
  




4 comments:

  1. Just want you to know that you were talked about tonight, and every time I talk about you with other people it's always about how incredible you are. Maybe it's cause I beam with pride that I get to be your friend, and maybe it's because other people see in you what you won't believe about yourself - you really are the most brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous person I know - no exaggerations! I hope you know that I love you and would do anything for you! Let other people in, let them hold you up so that you can continue to bring light to others. The moment you believe what we all see in you, is the moment you become unstoppable. XOXO

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  2. That's sweet but I think you missed my point...

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  3. Everytime I here something like this it makes me think. I'm not really sure I understand it all but I love the wording. It's true poetry and the picture was perfect for the situation. I belive the message myself I got will really help me. I hait it that you are expected to all the anwsers. But if you are giving everyone the anwsers than who is to give you the answers. Everyday I am not exactly sure of myself. I still need to add somethings together and then maybe some things will be clearer. I don't know if you or anyone else can understand what I am saying. I am probably not getting the message, but I am only a kid and understanding the world is one thing I can not do very well right now. Keep doing what you love Sarah because you are amazing at it. Never give up, never surrender. your cousin, with the dearest of love, Emma

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  4. Everyday there's one thing everyone needs to help them get through the day. For some people it may be different from day to day. But normally there special thing is at least in the same sort of category. But if you don't have something to get you through the good days, then what will happen when the bad days come around. Will you fall apart or will you stand strong and hide behind a shell of sadness. But if there's one thing that i learned from the story of humty dumty is that every shell has to break. So find someone or something that on your bad days you can feel like you can vent to it. It doesn't have to be a person it could even be a tape recorder. What ever you think will help you through the ups and downs. I believe once find that special thing that you can vent to you will be invisible. love u, cousin Em

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