Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Exodus 14:14

These past two month have been really draining. At times emotionally and physically but especially spiritually. I have noticed God trying to get my attention for a while now and I have been ignoring His voice and messages through other people, directly allowing Satan to speak lies to me that have brought me to a dark place. This has been happening for a long time... I don't know how else to describe these past two months then by saying this, I have never felt God so much in my life and I have never felt Satan so much in my life too. Not to say that God hasn't been with me this past year and so many months but I can feel Him tending to me differently now. I can feel his protection.

A dream that I had had almost a year ago now, came back into my dream cycle last night. It was one of those dreams that feels so real that completely freaked me out when I woke up. The last time I had this dream I cried for hours after I had awoke and could not sleep for a week after it and even when I did eventually sleep, I slept with my light on for weeks.

My dream was short but, seemed to last forever.

I was living in Veronica's old house at the time in the basement where I had my make shift room. I had a dream that I woke up in real life still in my bed in that basement. My friend Liz was sitting up right with a face ridden with terror. She kept her eyes fixed...staring straight forward as she pulled me to a sitting position beside her, begging me in a low, petrified whisper, "Look, look Sarah. Oh my God help." My shaking hands immediately covered my eyes as I whispered back, "No. No Liz. I can't look. She kept urging me to look and I kept refusing.

The bad thing about a dream is that you can be in two places at once.

I suddenly saw myself on the bed with Liz then I moved my eyes straight forward to the direction that Liz was looking. And there he was... dark and empty. No definite outline of him was portrayed. There were no horns on him. No devil tail like you see in cartoons. It was a massive pit of darkness. He reeked of hatred, corruption and maliciousness. All of the light that was in existence before, now was being vacuumed by this deep abyss that stood at the end of my bed. He was taunting me. Making me feel his darkness as it slowly started to creep it's way and consume the edge of my bed. It had almost reached my feet when I awoke, sweating, crying, shaking and praying...

The first time I had this dream it seriously messed me up. I wrote about it and even tried drawing what I saw, thinking that if I did I wouldn't dream about it again... this was my attempt..

The red part is the headboard of my old bed.

The difference about having that dream then and having the dream last night was the a bible verse I had recently discovered.

I happened to be sent this "message from God" via Pinterest one night. It was on a board with the bible verse Exodus 14:14 written on it. It read, "The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still."

I don't know why the devil is working so hard on making sure that I am incapacitated on a daily basis. My only explanation is that I am doing something the devil doesn't like. Or that God's ultimate plan for me is something that the Devil has to stop from happening...Either way, I am making Satan nervous. 
And it feels good :]

God is light. And where there is light...there is no darkness.

This past weekend my group SOLA had sung at a youth rally event called Christ teens and the theme for the weekend was, "In the Dark". The worship was so healing and God spoke to me a lot during the weekend. There was no drama and I had a great time in the company of all my friends. I wanted to remember this weekend and the realizations that I have had around this time so that is why I am writing this blog post. 

Here are some photos from the weekend. 
Some of them are pretty silly :)

 This last shot was taken from the plane as the sun was beautiful.
I love making new memories.


  1. Ugh. Reading about your dream, even though I remember you telling me about it before, gave me chills everywhere. So glad you're able to recognize Satan and even better, do something to stop him. You're an incredible woman, so proud to be your friend. And, I love making memories with you too! xoxo

  2. Love the pics...I definitely look like a llama in that one! haha!!! I'm so glad you're recording your journey, Sarah, to see just where you go from here! I love you, XOXO...

  3. Powerful post! I had chills reading your account of the dream, and I was thankful you posted the verse from Exodus. It immediately calmed my fears! Praying that the peace of Jesus continues to grip your heart. And hope to see you again soon!