My Ah-ha Moment...

This weekend was crazy busy! Illuminate 2011 was this weekend and Deeperstill was in town singing for it. Veronica and Holly both sang with them all day Saturday and for both services on Sunday. This meant that I got to spend time with the kids :) Therefore I got to take some special pictures after I dressed the boys on Sunday. 

 LOVE them.

 I am upset that Caleb's Face is Blurry :( 

But they are still cute!

 Redhead Boys

I gave them both faux hawks :) 

They both looked and smelled SO good!

 Let me describe what Sunday morning service was like for me. It was me, all three kids, Lara Brazle, Mark Knutson, and Kristen Shields with her two kids in the second row from the front. We had a baby bonanza!! We had toys being passed, wipes being distributed, babies being fed, babies sleeping, pooping and everything in between. ha ha 

Then it came time where we all took Communion. Jon spoke about how this special time was not only about remembering what Jesus did for us, but it was for fellowshipping with the people we love. After Jon prayed for the bread and juice, the whole church stood up and started moving to the tables. That is when it happened. I had a crystallizing moment. People were walking slowly...smiling...holding kid's tiny hands...hugging on each other. I looked up at the stage with my friends singing...then I looked over at Vicki and Chris helping me get the kids to the table. It was so clear to me.

This is how we are going to spend our eternity.

Singing, talking, smiling, and eating all together with the people we love.Tears and a smile broke across my face. That was the most joy I had ever felt before in my life. God became real to me. Heaven seemed to be so close. God was holding me. Us. All the people that we love in one room, at one time, believing in one thing...

Isaiah 25: 6-9

The Lord of hosts will prepare a lavish banquet for all peoples on this mountain;

A banquet of aged wine, choice pieces with marrow,

And refined, aged wine.

  And on this mountain He will swallow up the covering which is over all peoples,

Even the veil which is stretched over all nations.

  He will swallow up death for all time,

And the Lord God will wipe tears away from all faces,

And He will remove the reproach of His people from all the earth;

For the Lord has spoken.

  And it will be said in that day,

“Behold, this is our God for whom we have waited that He might save us.

This is the Lord for whom we have waited; Let us rejoice and be glad in His salvation.”

Our money is not ours, these bodies are not ours, the houses, the cars, the fame, all of the things we lift up as important...have no use to us. If we all remembered that, how much different would our lives be lived?

We are blessed beyond what we could ever imagine.

God is great.

You have been named.

I feel like it is important to name the people sometimes that have helped you in so way or another. I need to name some people that have really helped me over the past 4 months...

First is my sister Jennifer. She is the number one person that can make me feel like me again. She brings me back from some of my darkest places and is always ready to defend me if anyone has wronged me. I love everything about her. I don't deserve her. I don't deserve the kind of love she has given me. I am, most of the time, mean to her and she just keeps on loving me even when I am at my worst. I appreciate you Jenny...

Second is my best friend Lizabeth. She has this amazing ability to give me different perspectives and advice that I desperately need. She always tells me that "we" will never change, "we" will be constant. I need to hear that something won't change. I love that she says exactly what I need to hear. And I feel like if anything were to happen to me that she would be completely devastated. And in a sick way that makes me feel better. I can't imagine never knowing her or having her in my life.

Third person is my friend Jodie. Jodie is the person that has to see me on a daily basis at my worst. She is the one that makes me feel worth something. She is selfless, loving, caring, and so SO beautiful inside and out. Jodie is a great listener and lets me vent when I need to. I thank God for her everyday.

Fourth person is my friend Vicki. She is my voice of reason. She is the one that gets my crazy, "my world is crumbling" facebook messages at one in the morning. She always, without fail, writes me back and puts things into perspective. She makes me feel young...she helps me let go of the now and creates this mirage of "life is good" when I am around her. Vicki is selfless. She would drive 5 hours to come to help me out for a week that I know I will be too busy to help Vee. She is the very definition of awesome. I love her.

Fifth person is Chris Lindsey. I don't know why I can't ever talk about him without using his first and last name lol. Chris is without a doubt that best person to be around when you need to laugh. He does the most ludicrous, crazy, off the wall things to make me laugh. I love him so much for his genuine heart. 

Other people that have helped me so much are my family, Patricia my friend from OU, Tamara Johnson who is just....AMAZING, Stephanie Corp (what a girl...), Holly and Jon Knutson (love them), John Gresham the sweetest guy I know, Michelle Steckel :), Arlene King who has been a very special support to me (and the best hugger :), and lastly my sweet friend Ana Rodriguez. I wish I could see her more often but when I do see her, my heart smiles.

I hope you all realize how important it is to let the people in your life know how much they are loved and appreciated by you. General, generic statements just couldn't convey the appreciation I have for them. Everyone likes to hear that they are loved.

Feeling Blessed

Carter: Spoiled Rotten ;)

I haven't blogged lately about Carter so I decided to dedicate this post to him. He is now one month old and I have no idea where the time has gone?... There are so many things that I don't want to forget about him and his age at one month. He used to sleep through the night like a dream but lately he has been giving Vee I hard time. He gets up every 2 hours or so and wants to be fed and changed. He had some sort of growth spurt (which was noticeable!) and is now a solid 10 pounds. He is so smiley it makes my heart smile. Tonight I was doing some stupid things where I pinched his cheeks and he was smiling so big! Vee got it on video :)

Other than being a cute baby he is already spoiled! I would have to say that the bulk of the spoiling would have to have come from me but that is besides the point lol...He wants to constantly be held or he gets upset and if he is awake he needs constant entertainment. Yes, I may have created this monster along with some other people but I couldn't help it! Look at this face! ...even when he is mad ;) I took these photos when I was watching Faith, Caleb and Carter today.

But then he can be peaceful...

Look at his perfect face...

My two little love bugs